Reuters...

Commotion broke out outside the headquarters of the Bodhran Decommissioning Body this morning.

Witnesses reported hearing several extremely loud thumps followed by a fusillade of rimshots and several further bangs.

Another bystander claimed to have seen several large men, all carrying suspicious circular packages running away from the scene. Police reported that a coded message claimed the attack was the work of the 5th Flying Bodhran Brigade and it is also thought that a woman getaway driver was also involved.

When interviewed later by detectives, Cathy Jordan claimed that she was elsewhere at the time of the daring raid, doing a silly dance during a Dervish performance at the Drumcree Gathering with thousands of witnesses.

Also interviewed, Malachy Kearns said he was not involved although he was quoted as saying "I hope the big boys gave the feckers a mighty good wallopin'".

End of report...