Look, this isn't funny anymore! Someone has got to rescue me from this bloody woman! No wonder I'm turning brown. You would turn brown too if you had to put up with what I must endure on a daily basis. The woman is mad, and she's a sot! She should be locked up. A lizard's got no rights in this bloody country, no rights at all. I demand restitution! I don't want a pint, I want a quiet, dignified and sane life in the company of someone who is at least half-coherent at least half the time! Is that too much to bleedin' ask? I don't even like pubs!
Someone book me passage to Barbados, and do it NOW!!!
Igwig the Iguana
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