To the tune of "Three Lovely Lassies From Kimmage" … TWO LOVELY HOOKERS FROM SWEDEN There were two lovely hookers from Sweden From Sweden, from Sweden If it's sexual healing you're needing Sure I was the best of them all Sure I was the best of them all The phone rang and gamely I answered I answered, I answered "I hear that you are a lap dancer I've organised a lap ball I've organised a lap ball" Myself and my partner called Heidi Called Heidi, called Heidi She's pretty and curvy and tidy And stands about five foot six tall And stands about five foot six tall Two oul' fellas gave us some custom Some custom, some custom Our writhing it damn nearly bust 'em And straight into bed they did crawl And straight into bed they did crawl They snored as they slipped into slumber To slumber, to slumber (Missed the trick I did with a cucumber! That leaves all the prudies appalled That leaves all the prudies appalled) Wake up and pay us our billage Our billage, our billage Or else we will go on the pillage And leave you with sweet bugger all And leave you with sweet bugger all The moral to this oul' narration Narration, narration Is that when you enjoy fornication Don't fall asleep on the moll Don't fall asleep on the moll
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