A parody of "The German Clockwinder" – an oul' Dubliners' number. THE GERMAN CLAIRVOYANT A German clairvoyant to Dublin once came Herr Doktor Ulf Buck was the oul' German's name And as he was windin' his way down The Strand He grabbed my bumcheeks in his prescient hands Singing toora-lumma-lumma Toora-lumma-lumma Toora-lye-ay Toora-lye-oora-lye-oora-lye-ay Toora-lumma-lumma Toora-lumma-lumma Toora-lye-ay Toora-lye-oora-lye-oora-lye-ay Your future, he says, it is hard for to tell Unless your thick clothing you choose to dispel For you can't read a book till you turn the first page And unless you are stripped, then your life I can't gauge Singing toora-lumma-lumma Toora-lumma-lumma Toora-lye-ay Toora-lye-oora-lye-oora-lye-ay Toora-lumma-lumma Toora-lumma-lumma Toora-lye-ay Toora-lye-oora-lye-oora-lye-ay Don't fear for your honour, for I cannot see I lost my sight at the young age of three No ulterior motive, no lechy intent I am a most noble, dispassionate gent Singing toora-lumma-lumma Toora-lumma-lumma Toora-lye-ay Toora-lye-oora-lye-oora-lye-ay Toora-lumma-lumma Toora-lumma-lumma Toora-lye-ay Toora-lye-oora-lye-oora-lye-ay So into my lodgings, face down on my bed My fine nether garments before him I shed He poked and he prodded, he fumbled and felt And me lyin' there in my natural pelt Singing toora-lumma-lumma Toora-lumma-lumma Toora-lye-ay Toora-lye-oora-lye-oora-lye-ay Toora-lumma-lumma Toora-lumma-lumma Toora-lye-ay Toora-lye-oora-lye-oora-lye-ay I see in your future a row with your man A laddy as muscled as Desperate Dan And heavens above, the oul' future's not bright For Herr Doktor Buck who has no gift of sight Singing toora-lumma-lumma Toora-lumma-lumma Toora-lye-ay Toora-lye-oora-lye-oora-lye-ay Toora-lumma-lumma Toora-lumma-lumma Toora-lye-ay Toora-lye-oora-lye-oora-lye-ay And with that the door opened, and filling the frame Stood my darling husband, Hugh Divney by name With an oath and a curse he lit on Doktor Buck And through the room window the Doktor he chucked Singing toora-lumma-lumma Toora-lumma-lumma Toora-lye-ay Toora-lye-oora-lye-oora-lye-ay Toora-lumma-lumma Toora-lumma-lumma Toora-lye-ay Toora-lye-oora-lye-oora-lye-ay Ah, wife Maryanne, ah, wife Maryanne Why did you take in such an innocent man? To fondle your arse and leave me on the shelf? If your fortune needs telling, sure I'll tell it meself Singing toora-lumma-lumma Toora-lumma-lumma Toora-lye-ay Toora-lye-oora-lye-oora-lye-ay Toora-lumma-lumma Toora-lumma-lumma Toora-lye-ay Toora-lye-oora-lye-oora-lye-ay
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