Dear Susan,

I would dearly love to accede to your gracious request and to reveal my true Mudcat identity.

However, I hesitate to do this as many years of experience have taught me that the musician-guitar relationship is an always personal, sometimes complex and frequently fraught one and, as such, must be dealt with with the utmost sensitivity.

As with any professional, I am thereby bound by the rules of patient-doctor confidentiality. I think that you yourself have observed the somewhat delicate nature of some of the requests and I believe a wife is already in transit to my workshops.

Therefore I hope you will forgive me if I continue to dispense advice to the needy on an anonymous basis, as with any "agony aunt" or "magazine doctor"!

On another matter, I have just learned, after consulting tomes in my library regarding your dilemma, that in some cultures, e.g. native American Indian, Tibetan and Korean, the use of dissonant chords is actually intended to "drive away evil spirits". I believe your friend's husband may be aware of this and that this is what he is trying to do with his Ab13s and B9dim5s in the middle of your Gospel pieces. I recommend therefore not to judge him harsely as his motivation may be entirely altruistic. The offer to attempt removal of these offending chords, however, remains open should you deem it necessary.

Yours sincerely,

Dr. Guitar