SHITTY BOY JAKE (after Pretty Boy Floyd) Come gather round me people and a story I will tell Of Ozzie Jake the outlaw, Australia knew him well His mischief and his thieving caused many to despair They upped and upped the bounty, but Jacob didn't care He'd slip in through your window when you were in your dreams Wake up in the morning and find that you'd been cleaned No fingerprints to trace him, he struck where'er he chose Few were the friends of Jacob and many were his foes It was way out in the outback, he left a fatal clue The imprint of a sneaker in a heap of dingo poo They called the state forensic team, who probed and poked and smelt And soon the heat was on him and poor Jacob's collar felt The judge he found him guilty and passed sentence with a smile He said "Jake, your theiving days are done, you'll serve a lengthy while" And Jake has time to ruminate on how he'd steal and loot If it wasn't for the dingo, whose shite was on his boot If it wasn't for that dingo who laid a cunning trap By its thought to lay in Jacob's way a little pile of crap And Jake has time to rue his crimes while serving out his bird He'd still be free for villainy, if it weren't for dingo turds
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