How 'bout "Eat Bertha's Mussels"?
By John Roberts and Tony Barand(sp?) from the green album by the same title. If you care--Sorry, but I can scarcely resist telling this vignette--there is a joint in Bawlmur called "Bertha's", and they had a very clever pr campaign years ago in which they distributed green bumper stickers that read "Eat Bertha's Mussels" Naturally, once you saw them about a dozen and then another dozen times and then another dozen times again, you just *had* to flag down someone with said sticker when you could to ask them what the fuss wuz about. And so, you would have "Bertha's" indelibly emblazoned in your mind from then on. The duo was playing there one time, and decided that there should be a song to go with it, and here it is:
EAT BERTHA'S MUSSELS
cho.
C G7 C F C
Eat Bertha's mussels, they're the best there is by far.
F C Am D7 G7
Ya' can eat them in the dining room, ya' can eat them at the bar.
C G7 C F Am
So, when you're ashore in Baltimore, and ya' fancy a bite to eat,
F C Am D7 G7
Just follow your nose to Bertha's, and you'll be in for a rare old
C G7
treat.
cho.
Now a sailor came to Bertha's, with a problem most severe.
His manly pride had atrophied from a voyage of 14 years.
A coupla' plates of mussles, now he sings in a different key.
His jibboom set right, he'll be in there tonight,
And he'll never go back to sea.
cho.
Now a lady came to Bertha's, who wanted a daughter or son.
The doctors had said with a shake of the head, that she couldn't have either one.
So she ate a plate of mussels, and went home to her husband, dear.
She tuned up his crewth, and I'll tell you the truth,
She had triplets the very same year.
cho.
The will cure your diarea, cure your constipation, too.
Just swallow a box for the chicken pox, the measles, or the flu.
So if you fancy the healthy life, keep your daily dosage straight.
A plate a day of Bertha's mussels, and you'll live til you're 98.
cho.
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