Right silly love songs
To keep this in bounds I will print a few lines from each song and if any take your fancy let me know and I will post the thing up properly.

BROTHER GORILLA
George Brassant
Translation Jake Thackray

Through the bars of a large enclosure
The village ladies intently stared
Where a gorilla with massive composure
Were impassively combing his hair
They were unashamedly interested
Eyeing devoutly a certain spot
But at my mother's especial request
I'll refrain from telling you what

Brother gorilla

The song goes on about the animal escaping and having the choice of raping a judge or a grannie.

THE LOSS OF THE TITANIC
Les Barker

On a cold rainy night on a Liverpool quayside
In the days before the Great War
The world was in shock at the loss of Titanic
So proud had they been days before
Relatives gathered for news of their loved ones
And to read through the lists of the dead
When into the throng came a sad eyed old polar bear
And to the clerk at the counter he said,

"Have you got any news of the iceberg?"

It goes on about his wife and family coming from Greenland. A song of love torn apart.

RODNEY AND BRENDA
Pillaged from a duo called Therapy

Rodney was a decent sort of bloke
Not the sort to swear or belch
Or kick his teddy bear
And he never stole the punch line to your jokes
His manners had been perfect all his life
Not one to concern you with the details of his hernia
He never picked his peas up with his knife
He never got obnoxious when he drank
And in fact, his only failing was his feet
They really stank

Brenda was the girl he most admired

She had bad breath and they hid their secrets until their wedding night when true love was finally put to the test.
Well, the lovers get as far as the bedroom in this song.

BORED OF THE DANCE
The Kipper Family
This will be in the Forum somewhere

Oh how they danced on the night they were wed
She danced he drank and then they went to bed
There's no more story to be told
For she was too hot
And he was out cold

This is the culmination of a song about courting at a dance. True love requited.

THE TRAINS OF WATERLOO
Les Barker

As I was out walking one midsummer evening
Along the brick lanes of suburbia's sprawl
I met with a young girl giving sad lamentations
And it seemed as if all Basingstoke heard her sad call

Her lover is a commuter using Waterloo station and he fights the daily campaign down the platform with his brolley.
He ends up dead so its unrequited love this time.

Try THUTHIE, another love song I posted a few weeks back outlining the perils of lisping lovers.

There's loads more of this er stuff

Enough for now I'm tired but if you want more say so and I will carry on again tomorrow.

Regards,
The Fantum

Excess line breaks removed. --JoeClone, 4-Dec-02.