I found myself walking through part of Dallas some years ago, and came across this suburb, and thought 'wow, is this really the place in the song I used to play?' Strange place full of weird little shops - and then I found, of all things, an English pub.

Now, I happened to be there on a business trip from here in Oxfordshire, so I wandered into the English pub and asked politely: 'so, how English is this pub, then?'

With typical English courtesy, the kind we have come to expect here in the cradle of civilisation, the answer came back:

"How ****ing English d'you want it to be?"

Yes, it was authentic...

- Ian B