Dear Guy in the Brown Suit,

I will have to give your particular affliction a little more consideration before I can recommend a course of treatment. However, in the meantime, may I suggest that you scour the Salvation Army, Goodwill and similar thrift stores and bargain centers in your area for brown suits in your size. They are full of them. You will find that it is far less expensive to purchase donated brown suits from such charitable organizations than it is to have your existing suits dry-cleaned. When you feel that any of the suits are in need of cleaning, simply donate them back to the stores from which you purchased them. They will clean them before putting them out for sale and you may repurchase them far more cheaply than you could have had them cleaned yourelf.

Sincerely,

Dr. OM Dreadnought