If some one asks if they can play my (Seamus O'Kane) bodhran, I always reply with "I don't know. Can you?". If they can, they're more than welcome, but if they start slapping it with their hands, etc, I just take it back. I once asked a guy in a sesh if I could borrow his flute for a tune. He gave it to me, and I was playing something and the second time through the tune, he started saying things to me like "Stop hogging it", "Come on you've had enough", etc. As I played the first bars of the second part for the last time (i.e. nearly finished), he grabbed it out of my hands and said "Right, that's enough. You don't have to play it all night". I was so stunned I just sat there looking at him, until one of the other blokes there told him that was out of order and would he please leave, which he did.   Later discovered this guy is a serial a**hole. Why can't we all just get along??
a.w.