*Ping* ... and a little light goes on. I'd heard about AS a while back and strongly suspect that this is me. *All* of the symptoms listed here describe me. But in reading this thread (even before I got to the last few posts) it just dawned on me why I have incredibly anxiety when I have to speak with someone I don't know, but put me in front of a group of 25 or more people I don't know and I'm perfectly comfortable... In the group situation, I'm not interacting with anyone - I'm usually presenting in one form or another. Geez, this has had me confused for ages.

I've always lived in a world apart from the rest of the population. I just don't fit in anywhere.

Two years ago, my grandad died. He was found to have lung cancer, had the lung removed, and never recovered dying a week after the surgery. Needless to say, the two weeks preceding his death were stressful for the whole extended family. A lot of us spent a lot of time in the ICU waiting room. A couple days before they pulled the plug (there was still a little hope), I spent about 6 hours writing a letter to him, telling him all he'd meant to me over the years. While I was writing this, I cried. Really cried for the first time since I was a small child. And somewhere in that time something happened and I could read people's faces. I could look at someone and tell what they were feeling. I could see when what they were saying didn't match what they believed or felt. I could tell what someone was feeling even if they didn't say anything. I actually took part in a couple conversations, and passed out hugs to people who I could tell needed them. I don't know how I knew these things - I just knew them. And I can't explain what it was like. It was the weirdest sensation I've ever experienced. Over the following couple of months, that ability went away, and I'm now back to my old self. I've often wondered if that was what it is like to be 'normal'