WARNING - the prolonged regular playing of rugby can damage your brain !


At least, that's what happened to mine.


Well, close enough. I lurched off the pitch after my last game, seeing double. The club physio diagnosed concussion, for which the remedy was to soak my head with a sponge, and send me back on. However, the referee objected to the amount of blood spouting from my nose.

To cut a long story short, I now have the floor of one eye socket replaced with a titanium plate, and have been told never to play again. I regretted it for a while, then I took up the guitar, began annoying the neighbours with it and have never looked back.

While I enjoyed playing the game, even being on the receiving end of 64-0 hammerings, and a lot of my social life revolved around the local RUFC, there are hidden costs. Such as, lurching into work on many Monday mornings, doing an excellent impression of Quasimodo (one shoulder hunched higher than the other, black eyes and other marks, which do not go well with any job which involves soft-soaping customers face-to-face).

Within the game, there are degrees of masochism. Somewhere at the top of positions to be avoided are prop-forward (where I played) and full-back, as both positions collect more than their fair share of battery. Legend has it that the most worrying sight for any team is an opposing stand-off half with no visible injuries. Either he is a relative newcomer, or is so good that nobody has managed to catch him with the ball (and therefore in open season).

So, gaber, by all means give the game a go, but keep your sense of proportion.

Incidentally, okthen, I believe that the original quote was by Oscar Wilde. Football is a game for gentlemen played by hooligans, rugby is a game for hooligans played by gentlemen. With oddly shaped balls.