I will not leave my wife unattended when Gypsies are in the neighborhood.

I will not not get attached to any more old dogs.

I will not eat any stew or soup made from eels....unless she tries some first.

All cabin boys will be subject to full medical exam when signing on.

I will not go ashore to drink & carouse during shore leave. ...nawwww, I know I'll never keep that one anyway.