I'll keep my house securely locked at night lest I find myself the mother of some half-human, half-seal bastard.

I won't go out riding with my friend Utah amongst cattle with some stupid blanket flapping off the back of my saddle.

I won't get mixed up with boys named "Willie", I WON'T let them lead me over hills and valleys so deep, and I DEFINITELY will learn to distrust them before I'm so far out in the wilderness that there is nobody but the wild birds to hear my screams.

If I steal my older sister's boyfriend I won't go walking with her along the seashore.

If I'm the youngest of three children I won't let my siblings talk me into drawing straws, taking lots, etc. on ANYTHING. Come to think of it, no good ever comes to third children so if I were one, I should cut my losses and move far away right now.

I'll ride old Paints and not strawberry roans.

I never will walk by the Brazos no more.