If I need a shilling, I will borrow it or steal it from a coin collection or something. God help me I might even work for it. I will not accept it from anyone in a snappy red uniform.

Polly and I will go for counselling.

I will not stay late at Paddy Murphy's wake, and while I'm there I won't be associating with Kelly, his friends, O'Callaghan, Flinigan, Flanagan, or that dirty Andy Burke. O'Leary breaks out the bagpipes, I'm outta there.

I will maintain a healthy distance from cannonballs, roaring or otherwise.

And I'll NEVER EVER hit seventeen while playing against the dealer. I don't want to wind up on a tow boat again.

Just to be on the safe side, I will drop the last letter of my name.

Willie-O