Tweed, Tweed, Tweed. Tssk, tssk, tssk. Carol C and Penelope Rutledge wrestling for the chairwomanship of the Ilk Ladies' Auxilliary indeed! Bite your tongue man. The only one truly worthy of the chairwomanship is none other than Bubba Bubba.

Now, I know what you're gonna say - something about "But Bubba Bubba ain't a woman! Bubba Bubba ain't even human! Bubba Bubba is freds!" Well, remember when you fell under the enchantment of Carol the Sailor? Well, I have been smitten. Yes it's true. I have given my heart to an alien who once tried to eat the King of Mississippi but had to spit him out 'cause he tasted so bad.

I have not yet broken the news to Mrs. Bee, so please keep this matter quiet until I've had a chance to talk to her. Thank God the children are all grown.