If an Unemployment Office says they'll "send me through" to a job in the middle of nowhere, I will research the local fauna before taking up the offer.

I shall consider carefully before undertaking any activity which may end in my being sent to Van Diemen's Land. [Said activity may include, but is not limited to, taking a walk with a pretty young maid to whom I have not been formally introduced. Truly the road to hell is paved with improper intentions.]

I will write my will and testament before embarking upon a life of crime. Disposing of effects in haste while mounting the gallows may lead to omissions and inequities, due to the pressing circumstances.

If anybody asks the reason why I am wearing a green willow around my hat, I shall tell them I have escaped from a lunatic asylum. It will save time.