When engaging in a contest of hammering speed with a steam drill, I will bring along nitroglycerine tablets and ensure before start of contest that at least 20 people in the audience know CPR.

I will not walk by or along the banks of the Ohio with ANYBODY.

If my name is Johnson, I will at the very least learn to tolerate the presence of a yellow cat on my property, if not actually attempt to befriend the beast.

When taking a trip on a sailing ship, I will not make a stop in Jamaica, lest I leave somebody in Kingston Town.

If I marry a man named Leeds and become pregnant, I will stay out of New Jersey and away from pine trees in general.

Before going to sleep, I will ask anyone who happens to be in the same bed or room to awaken me immediately if I show any signs of dreaming that I'm talking to a deceased union organizer who insists he never died.