I have a friend (married, whom I had a crush on for years,   but we addressed this issue and decided straightaway we would    not pursue it) who I was talking to about not being able to have a real relationship. I never met anyone interesting, or if I did, they were always unavailable or uninterested, etc. he suggested   lowering my standards! I thought this was strange advice.   When I mentioned it to a married female friend, she said "absolutely not!"

After several years of having only brief, impossible relationships (with guys who lived in other countries, for example),I am now    seeing someone I first met (and became friends with) two years ago, he was married then; got divorced this year. He does live far away (Ohio, and I am in Massachusetts) but at least it's closer than England! But speaking of standards:   though I liked this guy right away when I met him, he is not normally the "type" I go for. He is steady and normal and not the least bit glamorous, and though he is quite nice-looking and in good shape and all, he is not the calibre of handsomeness I usually am attracted to (I have dated   male models, some of them clearly out of my league, not sure how I managed it). But none of it seems to matter. Anyway, I am getting older so I think looks become less important as time goes by.

I have to admit this dating stuff gets more and more   difficult...and I wish there was a way to bypass it all. I have made some attempts at the online or personal ad thing over the years but without much luck. I am very much a person who responds to the actual "flesh and blood" of someone, to their energy and voice,and I think "getting to know" a stranger via email can be very misleading! at least, this has been true in my experience...

Good luck all!