Hey, I'm a male. And you're right, it's a big relief not to be "needing" that one special partner anymore in order to feel okay. I do enjoy having friends, don't get me wrong. I'm not recommending becoming a hermit by any means.

Jacqui - Yeah, that's exactly why they say they are interested in the same things as you...just to get into a relationship! (To be merciful to these guys, they may not all be consciously quite aware of what they're doing at the time...) It all starts when you're 12 or 13 or thereabouts. You've been profoundly affected by all the books, movies, songs, and social mythology...plus your rapidly emerging and ever-increasing sex drive...into thinking that your life is UTTERLY BEREFT and WITHOUT HOPE unless you can get your arms around some desirable female, the queen of all your hopes and dreams...or several such, depending on whether you're a hopeless romantically monogamous type (like I was) or a "kiss 'em and leave 'em" play-the-field type of guy. The former type convinces himself that he IS interested in the same stuff as she is, the latter just outright lies, figuring that anything that works is justifiable.

Sometimes it leads to pregnancy, it most cases it leads eventually to marriage...and a host of other complications. Them as wants it are welcome to it. :-) If I was 16 now, I'm sure it would be the main thing on my mind. Such is life.

Being a householder and raising a family is the toughest job there is, but for most people it is the centerpiece of life, and that's okay with me if that's what they want.

- LH