LEJ hangs towel on barstool and climbs onto bar. Strides out to edge of bar and picks up can of Reddi-Whip, then sprays 5 inch thick artificial whipped- cream reef over pool of Guinness/Jello and frolicking Mudcatters, leaving 18" diameter hole in center,then declaims "It is a far, far better thing I do
than I have ever done before
" with this, turns his back to the pool, stands steady for a moment, then leaps into the fragrant air, executes a perfect reverse double gainer with a half twist, then enters the half-congealed stout like an arrow into the heart of the bullseye, neither displacing or disturbing the ring of Reddi-whip that surrounds his entry-point.