Earthlings! My name is Tenderheart Bear (yeh, click on the name to see what a badass I am). I am the leader of the band of freedom fighters you Earthlings know as "Care Bears". Yep, that's us. The ones you're making such a puny attempt to defend yourselves against. Well, you're gonna lose! Why? Because you don't know how to share! That's why the Galactic Overlord (Yeh, I know, some shitbird pretending to be God said that he'd fired the G.O. Wrong!) sent us on this little incursion. To teach you fuckers how to share!

So listen up! Learn how to share and we'll just go home. Keep on being the selfish assholes you've been being and we'll kick your ass. Understand?