Old but repeatable, just change the sport and names to translate to the US of A

And there was the Rugby Match between two adjoining Villages. The Reverend Isaac Jenkins referee.
The scores where level. Right in front of the posts the Scrum collapsed and the Reverend Jenkins blew for a penalty. Up came the full back to kick the Goal. He spoted the ball. Stood back, miskicked and the ball veered off away from the posts.

"Bloody Hell" Said the full back. " Naughty" said the Reverend Jenkins, "You should ask The Lord to help you".

5 minutes later the same thing happened again. The full back swore, and again the Reverend Jenkins reproved him, and told him to seek the Lords help.

It was the last few minutes before the final whistle. A penalty in front of the posts, up came the full back, kicked, and the ball veered off towards the corner flag.

"Lord Please help me !" said the full back.

And the sky darkened and an Angel appeared, caught the ball and fanned it between the post with its wings for 3 points.

"Thank you Lord", said the full back.

"Bloody Hell" said the Reverend Isaac Jenkins .

Gareth, (and I know 'cos I was there.)