Nerd is right, the experiences of those aspiring or attaining middle class status would be quite different depending on environment. Having a western background, most of what I know of the major cities is what I have read, not what was remembered by family members.
I still think that vaudeville-minstrel entertainment would influence what 'middle class' Irish sang and danced to. Everybody went. Certainly by the time ragtime developed, the pop of the day was widespread among all groups.

As Nerd stated, Boston, New York and Philadelphia had large Irish populations with more than usual cohesivness. Political power was much sought, and organizations such as the police were largely Irish (Emerald Society in New York), etc. Reading biographies of the Kennedys, Cohans (active in vaudeville in the 80s) and other Irish families, histories of the political machines, etc., would add insight. The ward hierarchies of the time were structures of strength. Although slandering each other relentlessy, Micks, Jews, Poles and Wops were learning to tolerate each other, work together and play poker together although social integration was yet to come.

The experiences of the early Scotch-Irish in the Appalachians, Ozarks and Piney Woods, because of isolation, were very different.