I recognize a lot of these, especially the ones that promise    corporal punishment...

Mom was fond of the "people in hell want ice water" one. She also would say, when we crabbed about dinner, "One of these days I'll put a loaf of bread and a jar of peanut butter on the table." Once   when I accused her of saying that a lot but never doing it I got smecked...kids got smacked a lot more in those days, yes? Or was it just my family?

"Eat your (broccoli, squash, peas, lima beans etc.)! There's children starving in India!"

"She's like a fart in a windstorm." (My mom still says this about me, meaning who knows where I am at any given moment.

"He thinks his shit don't stink."

"You've got good taste." (when picking out the most expensive item on the clothes rack when shopping for back to school).


"She's so stuck on herself."

Kid: "She started it!"
Sibling: "No,   HE started it!"
Parent (usually Mom): "I'm gonna FINISH it!"