According to a research survey -- in 7.4 out of 10 luggage handlers the trauma-induced obsession relative to guitar cases is induced by pre-natal experiences of the (luggage handler's) mother, who typically was overwhelmed by a guitar; the standard profile indicates the occasion of overwhelm was not acoustic but highly amplified, usually occurring between 18 and 25 years of age, between 8:00 and 11:59 pm, with a normal presence of saturation in the atmosphere of hallucinogenic or related toxins of some 35 parts per million. The consensus of the analysts on the study is that the high atmospheric concentration of these chemicals in the typical event accounts for the failure of the study subjects to differentiate between acoustic guitars and noxious electric acid rock and roll instruments laying claim to the same name.

Regards,

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