"Excuse me, ma'am, couldn't help overhearing, pardon, listening to you. This is a common complaint among the ladies. Name's Tegucigalpa, Tyrone T. (hands out card, keeping watchful eye on bartender at far end of the bar) Thanks to modern technology (pulls vise-like contraption out of large box he has laid out on the near bartop) we have solved this perennial problem between the sexes. Behold, the LISTENUPPER!!!"(Machine whirrs into life).
"When you press this lever (presses lever in front), a large vise moves forward (it does) and pins your male potential listener's face straight forward, like a horse."
(Presses a red button). Then Two pairs of tiny pincers come to the left and right sides of your male's head, inject themselves into their ear holes, and after briefly squirting some waxremoval fluid into them, the pincers open up and force the ears to remain open while speech is going on!!!!(Machine pops out pincers; then more ominous wire and skull holder emanates from internal drawer). Simultaneously, the machine reads the EEG pattern of your male, and when any sign of slackening of attention is signalled, a shock of electricity is administered to the only sensitive portion of the male anatomy, if you get my drift!!!!
There you have it!! The Wonder of the AGE!!! The Answer to a Woman's Prayer!!!!!!! For only a small investment, your communication problems are over, ladies!! What do you say!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sorry, miss, were you saying something to me?"