Dear Secret Santa,

Please bring me a new roof and some good electrical work for the house I'm gonna buy. Also termite proofing. I can handle the rest.

I've been a good boy, mostly, all year and helped little old ladies across the street and only mugged the rich ones. I helped my family stay out of jail and I didn't have to lie to the copys hardly at all.

Oh, yes, if you'd be good enough to get the squirrels out of the attic I'd appreciate it. If that means being a little gooder for the rest of the year, I'll be a little gooder. Heck, SS, I'll even be a big gooder.

Thank you for your kind consideration, and I'd like the gifts before Xmas, in fact, right after we close on the house.

Sincerely,
Your Friend,
R