Many years ago my friend Ken Shulman in Seattle sang this one that he said was written by Christopher Hershey:

OH CON ALL THE FAITHFUL

Oh, con all the faithful, appeal to their religion
Buy a plastic manger scene and set it up in the front yard
Twelve lifelike figures set the tone
In lifelike painted styrofoam
Provided with appropriate tape-recorded Bible verses
Oh how we do abhor it, wherever shall we store it?
But we paid plenty for it--besides, it's the biggest on the block

Oh, con all the faithful, appeal to their tradition
Send Christmas cards to everyone you've known for the last 20 years
And God forbid if you are missed
By someone who is on your list
It's not the thought that counts but just the thought of counting them
Don't friends deserve much better? So why not write a letter?
The rest you can forget, sir, it's only wasting trees


I knew a guy in college whose studies had been postponed by being drafted into the Marines and sent to Vietnam; he said the troops there sang this one at Christmastime:

Jingle bells, mortar shells, VC in the grass
You can take your Christmas tree and shove it up your ass

Aloha,
Mark