Haw! Haw! Haw! Norma, you have got to come to Blind River, Ontario, because my little brother is lookin' for a girl just like you, eh? Just hang out at the Tim Hortons (it's newly renovated, eh?) with a sign saying "I am available for a date with Shane". Haw! Haw! Haw!

Other people will just point and stare, but I guarantee that when my little brother comes in...and he will...(he's there every flippin day of the week)...his jaw will drop to the floor, man! Then he will go into his "charmer" routeen whcih has to be seen to be believed. Haw! Haw! Haw!

You just gotta come to Blind River NOW!

Remenber: You are Shane's last hope, girl. Ain't no females left in this town stupid enough to date Idiot-boy.

Don