Aha! Got it! Send a PM to John From Hull. John, as most of us know, is congenitally incapable of spelling "beer". It's always "bear". Just get John to send you a case of bears. When the bears arrive from Hull just pitch 'em under the porch. The bears will probably be very hungry from their transatlantic journey and the drunk will either leave or become supper.

That, of course, assumes that the bears arrive before they begin their winter hibernation. If they arrive too late you'll just have to live with the drunk until spring.