And here is another boot polish gem (not by Dickems) - which can be sung to the Star Spangled Banner, by those who are brave enough to sing the Star Spangled Banner (I gather a lot of Americans get nervous about dealing with the high notes). It's all about the advisability of dropping out of college and polishing boots instead:

Our Sires were such pedagogue blockheads of yore,
That they sent us to college instruction to seek,
Where we bother'd our brains with pedantical lore,
Law, logic, and algebra, Latin and Greek;
But now, wiser grown, leaving learning alone,
And resolving to shine by a light of our own,
Our cares we transfer from the head to the foot,
Leave the brain to be muddied, and polish the boot.

On the banks of the Isis, ye classical fools!
Who with Lycophron's crabbedness puzzle your ear,
And ye who learn logarithmetical rules
At Cambridge, from tables of Baron Napier,
Renounce Aristotle, and take to the bottle,
That wears 'Patent Blacking', inscribed on its throttle;
For Napier and Greek are by few understood,
While all can decide when your blacking is good.