"Ten Reasons Why I Like the Mother of all BS Threads (MOAB) More Than My Biological Mother (Mom)"

1) MOAB doesn't tell stupid stories about things I did as a child. Mom does.

2) MOAB doesn't get said stupid stories wrong more often than not due to fading memory. Mom does.

3) MOAB likes my wife. Mom only pretends to.

4) MOAB doesn't cook green bean casserole made from canned French style green beans, canned onion rings and canned cream of mushroom soup. Mom does.

5) MOAB cooks better fried chicken than Mom ever dreamed of cooking. However, in all fairness, Mom's macaroni and cheese kicks ass.

6) MOAB makes me laugh. Mom hasn't said anything funny since 1965.

7) MOAB doesn't think I've completely lost my mind for ditching my secure, well-compensated straight job and becoming an artist. Mom does.

8) MOAB doesn't drive a Cadillac. Mom does.

9) MOAB thinks it's cool that I live in a cabin in the woods. Mom never visits because she's afraid of snakes.

10) MOAB seems to share many of my opinions about George W. Bush. Mom thinks he's God.