You will be surprised to receive this letter, but I am the ex-wife of the president of Sierra Leopardi, the Right Honourable Snuffi Ohooroombalalaroombalalasisboomba, and while that gorilla loves you merely for your booty, I love you for your soul. I am also willing to wear a gorilla suit if that is what is required to win your heart and other appurtanences. I also have a hot bankaccount which only requires a somewhat complicated transaction involving an offshore account that was for some reason left in my care following the butchering of most of our people by the beloved leader, S. Ohooroombalalaroobalalasisboomba. If you would be willing to open a bank account in Fort Wayne, I would fly to you on the wings of Amour and Air Leopardi. Pay no attention to other offers from other continents, particularly Australia,

your inamorata in whatever suits you,

Susan Atahualpa Ohooroombalalaroobalalasisboomba.