Door flies open....the Big Mick runs in......and slides up to the bar........Jazus, Mary and St. Joseph, but could someone get me a jar......no, make it two of the vile black stuff, and a short one on the side.......huh?........Oh, it's me Mam and Da's fiftieth wedding anniversary this weekend and we are putting on a party.........What's the problem????? Two sisters and a brother and their various significant others, that's the problem........What am I goin' to do about it????? I'll tell you what.....there is one among them dat will get such a hidin' (as in "lose their hide" for those poor unfortunates among you who don't understand the beauty of Irish slang.....your educations were lacking) as they'd get at Donnybrook........Naah, I will survive this, although I am not sure if several of the in-laws will.......Aaaaaahhhhhhh but that tastes lovely and now for the shortie.........Oh, t'ings (could I buy a consonant please?) are looking better.........Hey, I didn't know we could tell jokes here.......Get that f***in' imposter possum off the stage, fahcrissakes.....LEJ, give me that 22. I will take care of this problem..........OK, OK. Here goes.........Your man Clancy is driving around Dublin when he realizes he is short of the petrol. He pulls into the filling station and when yer man comes out he says "Would you mind fillin' it with petrol?". Yer man sez, "We don't sell no petrol here". Clancy looks up to the sign with a puzzled look and then sez, "Well then, would you mind checking the oil?". The young fella looks around cautiously, then whispers to yer man, "Clancy, boyo, we don't sell petrol and we don't check oil.....You see, we are a front for the IRA".........Clancy thinks for a moment and sez, "Well, in that case, would ya mind blowin' up the tires?".........TADDDDDDDAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA............

Gotta get back to party planning. T'anks for the drinks.......Get the house a round and put it on my tab, I'll square it when I come in the next time