I will have to deprive the world of another glimpse of my exquisitely turned ankle on this occasion, as I will be entertaining the good burghers of Chelmsford in the United Brethren pub on Writtle Street.

I think I need to keep a low media profile at the moment, after the bike ride coverage, and being butled by Oakers whilst those nasty stories about shenanigans on the rotary milking parlour are still doing the rounds.

I hope you give the hack a good show. Wonder which tune he'll be humming all the way home?