Thomas,

As I see it Clinton was bringing into the discussion the difference between constructive and destructive criticism. Yell at me if I'm wrong, eh, Clinton?

If there is some basis in fact in what the person is saying, although they could be saying it in a nicer, more respectful way, then perhaps the best reply is to do what Ebbie did and thank the person for their constructive comments.

If it is purely destructive then that is a different matter. Saying something like "That's interesting feedback. Thanks!" might do the trick, given that "interesting" can mean a whole lot of things.

I have discovered a really useful comeback for a variety of situations, although I doubt that it would work on stage in response to hecklers. It works well in one-to-one exchanges.

If someone says something which is probably offensive, e.g. sexual harassment, insults, etc, then I say "Excuse me?" with an upward inflection, and emphasis on second syllable. The meaning is like saying, "Did you just say what I thought you said?"

The effect is quite good. If they didn't intend to be disrespectful, or they rethink the effect of their words then they will often apologise. If they meant it but they suddenly realise they may be getting into dangerous territory they will often back off. If they meant it and don't back off then I know that this is aggressive behaviour and I start to work out a strategy to deal with it.

It's a deceptively simple way of throwing down the gauntlet and saying "Do you want to fight about this?"

Helen