Thomas,

Have you learned about a technique known as centreing/centering? It was taught in a conflict resolution class I went to years ago. It's hard to say why it works, but it does seem to have a positive effect.

Briefly, the class was asked to stand up and find someone to work with. One person in each pair was asked to stand still and straight, and the other one had to push firmly but not aggressively on the first person's shoulder in an attempt to bend or push them sideways. It was fairly easy to do this for most people.

Then we were told about centreing, which is to hold the palm of one hand on your own lower abdomen, just below your navel, with the fingers held horizontally and flat against your belly. The thumb is just below the navel. Mentally focus on that spot.

Then, the other person tries again to push firmly against your shoulder and it is a lot more difficult to get you to bend or move sideways.

The trick seems to relate to centre of gravity in some way. By focusing lower on your body you can stand more firmly and not be so easily swayed.

The trick also works for non-physical pushing around. If someone starts heckling, and if you have practised the centreing technique previously so that you get the hang of it, you may be able to use it on stage. If you are playing guitar or drums or accordion etc and you cannot physically hold your palm there then your previous practice may enable you to just focus your energy there mentally.

I used this in a situation in a work meeting once and the effects were amazing. I actually, for the first time, had the courage to face up to a very overbearing and formidable boss so that I could tell him one home truth that no-one else was brave enough to tell him (constructive and not destructive feedback). He behaved very differently to me after that and we had a pretty good working relationship from then on.

This probably sounds like gobbledygook, but until you have tried it, you won't know. It would help you to maintain your confidence and keep performing despite attempts to undermine you.

My other thought, Thomas the Rhymer, is to invent a quick rhyme and memorise it for just such an occasion. It doesn't even have to make sense, just something which fills the gap of silence after the heckling comment and leads back into the performance.

The verse I thought of is one which is in the front of a kids' story book which belonged to my father and his siblings.

When silly people say to me,
"Why do you want to go to sea?"
My answer plain will always be
"I only want to go to see!"

Helen