There's the kind of joking insults which is in my experience are pretty characteristic of how men relate to each other, which isn't mean to hurt and which doesn't hurt - but every now and then it can get used as a kind of cover for saying things that are genuinely meant to hurt, and that's not at all the same thing.

But it can be quite hard to tell the difference sometimes, especially for other people, and treating them as real rather than as joking, that can invite a response about not having a sense of humour.

Tricky dealing with that. With an open attack it's easy enough to ignore it and show you can't be provoked. But with an underhand attack that's not so effective.

There's often a lot of tension around in sessions and bands. I suppose it's because you find yourself playing with people you wouldn't pass the time of day with otherwise.