Hi Lanfranc,

Have you heard the following song that Hamish Imlach used to do -

"The History of Football"

From Ireland there came a band,
Hundred years ago they say.
For the birthday feast o' the Clan McLeish(sp?)
The band was booked tae play
They wore green hats, green spats,
green coats a think
The thing they weren't sae green on
Was the sharin' o' the drink

Clan Chief McLeish was very pleased
When he took tae his seat
For it was said his wife had made
A special birthday treat
He wore blue plaid, blue braid,
Blue kilt a suppose
The only thing that wasnae blue
He never blew his nose

The guest's gasped when at last
the birthday treat was finally brought
On great plate a steamin' great
Dumpling - Piping hot
Well they grabbed it, stabbed it
But the dumplin' stayed intact
Till a fierce McLeish no too pleased
gave it a hell of a crack

The fiddler caught the dumplin'
And wi' an Irish roar of pain
He cursed and swore then once more
Kicked it back again
It went up and doon the banquet room
40 wide and eighty lang
Kicked between McLeish's men
And the Irish Ceilidh Band

Well their anger changed tae laughter
When they saw it could be fun
But their laughter changed tae anger
When they thought the wrang side won
Still they play this game today
But they've changed the rules somehow
Wi' eleven dumplin's on each side
And the ca' it football now.