Transcribed from the sound file at http://www.geocities.com/u2page5/

AMONG MY SOUVENIRS
(As sung by Homer & Jethro)

There ain't nothin' left fer me.
I ain't what I used to be.
I live in misery
Amongst her souvenirs.
Some letters I can't see.
They're under lock and key.
They're used to blackmail me
Amongst her souvenirs.

Her hair has no gray streak
And she's a blonde this week.
Though both of her legs squeak,
They give her transportation.
Her figger's changed somehow.
What made the boys say "Wow!"
It's all behind her now
Amongst her souvenirs.

There's only one love left
Within her cedar chest,
And though it does its best
To give her respiration,
It seems so hard to bear.
I've got more than my share.
When I see her standin' there,
I can't hold back the tears.
I'm stuck with her and all her souvenirs.