Mr Raggytash, I think it premature to deduce that Thornton was not in your presence Saturday last. I am given to understand from your postings that several people from your musical community here were indeed present, so that should be where we first look. Thornton, who we mustn't assume is male, is obviously highly literate, which we know from his annoyance at semi or illiterate imposters. If we assume this, that would eliminate most of your guests who embarrass themeselves so publicly here. My initial deduction would be that it is the one called Oaklet, in that he is the only Hull-based contributor who even approaches exemplary syntax.

However, Mr Raggytash, we then peel back the next layer of the onion that is inducing this lacrymose reaction, and examine the modus operandi of Thornton to see if that gives us any clues, and again eliminating poor imitators' scribblings, the last two 'genuine' Thornton entries are visible here as having been made Saturday last, and the timings recorded suggest that the one called Oaklet would have struggled to have been playing with the eponymous band and crafting invective on a keyboard.

Having eliminated Oaklet by demonstrable alibi, and the rest of the revellers (however lamentable their command of English grammar), the next most likely suspect has to be someone connected with this 'Punch The Horse' collective who has cleverly not maintained a risible profile within this domain. That person was not, at face value, present on Saturday night, and would need a publicly accepted alibi to avoid detection. To cut to the chase, I have written the name, or at least the occupation of the suspect at the bottom of my report, but can you guess it?























































The accordion player ................