Snuffy I spoke to Chris this evening and he said he would be delighted if we put it on here!! so here is the complete version I got from Chris , with recitative,

BOLD GENERAL WOLFE'S BATMAN
Chris Gorniak

SPOKEN INTRODUCTION (ad lib):
"You will all know of the many famous ballads of the old wars, extolling the virtues of the heroes of old (Benbow, Nelson etc.). Fewer songs exist describing the hardships of the common footsoldier. However you will be delighted to hear that, amongst my extensive researches in dusty attics, into ancient broadsides and black-letter ballads, I came across this little number, which serves to redress the balance a little. It's called: Bold Wolfe's Batman"

On Monday morning we made a start,
Our General looking exceeding smart,
Because his batman with tender care,
        Had pressed his clothing,
Had pressed his clothing,
And packed his uniform and underwear.

JOKE (ad lib):
"Just a technical note about that last verse. Way back in the 18th century, these fleet laundrymen, when they were on shore leave, used to roam about in groups looking for a bit of ironing to do. Of course, they eventually became known as the --- press-gang".

And when the battle it did begin
Our General Wolfe so boldly waded in,
'Oh Sir!' His batman cried, 'Pray have a care,
        Try not to splash it,
Try not to splash it,
Cause launderettes round here is very rare.'

The very first broadside it came quite near,
In fact it chopp-ed off our General's ear.
The blood flowed down which made his batman cry,
        'Oh Sir I'll never,
Oh Sir I'll never,
Oh Sir I'll ne'er wash out that crimson dye.'

The very next broadside we could plainly see
Removed our General's leg below the knee,
We heard his batman peevishly to say,
        I spent an hour,
I spent an hour,
An hour polishing that boot today.'

A cannon shot then took off his head,
Our General swayed which filled us all with dread,
His frantic batman did so loudly cry,
        'I've made your lunch Sir,
I've made your lunch Sir,
Pray drink some chicken soup before you die.'

Another broadside, closer than the rest,
It caught our General squarely in the chest,
His batman cried out 'Sir, I've done my best,
        But the shirt is ruined,
The shirt is ruined,
The shirt is ruined and so's the vest.'

The final broadside it caught him clean,
And shattered our General to smithereens.
Seeing this his batman furiously did cry,
        'That's it, I've had it!
That's it, I've had it!
Get yourself a new man, I resign, Goodbye!'

And when to England we did return,
We took so little of Wolfe's uniform,
A couple of buttons and of sleeve, a bit,
        Was all we salvaged,
Was all we salvaged,
Of that great hero's neatly laundered kit.