David,
My arms are reaching out to you in an enveloping embrace. My friend, you know that I've been through something close to this. No one's story is exactly the same, and no one's grief is the same, but there are many similarities. I am here if you need me.
I'm glad you've reached out to these folks. They will be here for you, too. In many cultures, sitting in vigil with the bereaved is a way to honor the dead and honor the grief. We are here for you, candles burning. Say what you need to, and especially, tell us about your wife. We want to know her, too.
All my love,
Allison