I hope Magician heals quickly and all of you are well and happy.

Regarding the Evil Catspaw and His Sneeze of Death stories, a friend once remarked to me that people tell everyone they know (and often, as in 'Spaw's case) everyone they DON'T know who doesn't get away fast enough) about the horrors of their experiences because they can't very well get even with the people who inflicted said horrors.

They don't care. The nice nurse might pat you on the head and give you a pillow or sell you a stuffed bear off a little pushcart that she manoevres up and down the halls, crying 'Koalas and Teddies, alive, alive-not', but she DOESN'T CARE. I'm sure she did once, before the 1,024th patient told her how he sneezed earlier and wondered if it was actually possible to hit the door with a liver or spleen or something. Now, YOU say "HOLY MOTHER OF ACKER, WHITE HOT PAIN, SEARING MY GUTS. I THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO DO AN IMPRESSION OF JOHN HURT IN ALIEN, AND..." and the nurse says, "Yes, that will hurt. Did you have a bowel movement today? Here's a bear. Where's your wallet?"

Anyway, they don't care, so you search for some alternate target upon whom to inflict your tales. (There's a word for this, but I don't know what it is. It's like when you're mad at your boss but you can't do anything about it or you'll get fired, so you go home and play bagpipes with all the windows open.) In any case, I hope you'll share your stories with us, even if we HAVE heard Catspaw's tales. It helps to get that sort of thing out of your system - much like certain tubes.

I take it this was a surprise bypass? If we'd known they charged for bears ahead of time, we might have EACH sent you one. You would have had your own, and when you felt better, you could have started a black bear market with the spare bears, undercutting the £5 price. Too late now.
*******
My best wishes for a speedy recovery!