Lyrics transcribed from the sound file at http://www.geocities.com/u2page6/

THE FUNNY FARM (tune: When Johnny Comes Marching Home)
(As sung by Homer & Jethro)

I took a short vacation on my doctor's good advice.
Four men in white escorted me. They treated me so nice.
They strapped me in a jacket till I couldn't move an arm,
An' now I am patient out at the funny farm.

CHORUS: The nurses drink. The doctors drink. The patients do the same.
While we are psychoanalyzed, we sip our pink champagne.
Before I'd sell my padded cell, I'd amputate my arm.
I'd be a lunatic to ever leave the funny farm.

I can't help feelin' sorry for the guy right next to me.
He thinks that he's a refrigerator, strange as it may be.
The doctors don't believe it an' I think that he's a fake,
But when he opens up his mouth, the light keeps me awake. CHORUS

A guy thinks he's a chicken, but I'm sure that he is wrong.
He sits out in the chicken coop an' cackles all day long.
The doctor never tries to cure him though he begs and begs,
For they get sixty cents a dozen when they sell the eggs. CHORUS

[Recorded by Homer & Jethro on "Fractured Folk Songs," 1964; and "The Playboy Song," 1968.]