My Dear Mr. Wellington-Jones,

If the money for airfare is the only thing that is preventing you from paying us a visit, please advise exactly what the cost will be (in American dollars, not British Pounds Sterling or whatever it is you Limeys call that confusing duodecimal excuse for real money you insist upon using) and we will endeavor to raise the necessary funds forthwith. Upon confirmation of your impending arrival we will procure a large economy-size can of Whoop-ass which will be held in reserve, with your name on it, to be opened immediately upon your arrival.

Please advise if you wish to take advantage of this opportunity to meet a few of the fine denizens of rural USA, aka Bubbaland.

Sincerely,

Bubba-dubya-ell