Michelle, you have my great respect and yes, you go ahead and whine! Your capacity for love shines through your posts. Veronica is a lucky little girl.
I have a colleague who actually went through the process of trying to get custody of a child in a similar situation to yours, and the child's family was willing up to a point- until it came to signing on the dotted line. They just couldn't do it. They couldn't parent, either, but they wanted to think they could. Sad conclusion all around.
You just keep loving Veronica from a distance, and call her whenever you can, write to her, maybe even visit if you can manage it. Maybe your modeling of another way to "parent" will drop some hints to Veronica's mom- she may never have had a decent role model herself. And even if it doesn't sink into mom's head, it can't help but be good for the little girl.

Blessings on all of you-
Allison