Help me Catters...Wanted: Sex. Must be over 21, female and breathing.

I am a man of very simple tastes. Any blow-up dolls will have to have a complete medical, physical and criminal record check. The aforementioned will be done by my buddy, Little Hawk. (He doesn't know it yet, so don't be e-mailing and telling him. I just want to see how he reacts to 783 "Suzie, The Affordable Light-weight Travel Companions" arriving in the mail with neither warning nor explanation.) Bicycle pump a must. I will not have my friend's lips sullied by cheap plastic tubes that may have had other blower-uppers. If the dolls have been previously dated, have the good taste to give them a thorough washing with soap, water and bleach.

Gadabout, take a lesson in ad writing, and eat your heart out! (And I refuse to lower myself by mentioning money.)